The Radio Is Going To Kill Me Tonight

Or make me dehydrate. I swear that 2 songs in a row that turn an Army Mom's blood to ice just came on. In a row. First Carrie Underwood's "Just A Dream" and then Tim McGraw's "If You're Reading This".

I love them both, and Tim McGraw's song has been out long enough that me and the girls loved it (and it was still heartbreaking) but we didn't associate it with Mike right off the bat. Now, I had to explain what it meant to the girls when they first heard it. So they were a little young at the time. Now that their big brother, their hero, is in the Army...it all has deeper meaning.

Carrie Underwood's new song is going to be the death of me though. Kids already make a beeline for the tv to turn off CMT or GAC when it comes on. I can't handle that song, it's just painful. I try to make it through without crying like a baby but it's hard. I only made it this time cause I started posting about it. (I used the distraction method this time! LOL)

I called Mike's dad this weekend to see if he'd heard from Mike. I am not sure I want to invite him into this sanctuary I've found. Between my blog and the forums I'm on, I am able to learn and handle the whole process of converting to an Army Mom much better. I'm not sure I could be quite as honest if I knew his dad and step mom might be stopping by and seeing my messages. And Mike seems to be withholding info to them, it's most likely because he's so busy. But what if it's not. I'm sort of torn on whether or not to push them to participate for Mike's sake. I think I'm going to just let Mike tell them what he wants and give them dates/info as he decides. As for the web stuff...I think I will let them find their own sources. If they show up, then they were meant to find it. I spend a considerable amount of time each week learning more and more about what my kid does and will be doing in his Army career. I'm a little hesitant to just provide info to someone who didn't want Mike doing this, hasn't been real supportive and isn't appearing to want to learn. I mean, I could be totally wrong and just have some serious bitterness towards them for things that happened to Mike years ago. I hate wondering if I'm being a bitter bitch or if I'm standing back and letting my adult son involve who he wants in his life. I'd like to think the latter, but I'm afraid it might be the former. *sigh*