What does a Gold Star mean to you?

For me a Gold Star means pain.  It means broken hearts.  Dreams that will never come true.  The end of innocence.  It means that somewhere, some family has just been given the worse news anyone can get.

If you aren't aware of the meaning, let me start with explaining the service banner.  A Blue Star Service Banner is a small flag that families with an active duty member of the military displays in their home (usually hanging in a window).  The Blue Star banner has a red border and a blue star in the middle.  When a hero is killed in action, that family's blue star is covered with a slightly smaller gold star, leaving the edge of the blue star showing.


The Gold Star banner lets people know that the family has lost their hero and should demand the highest respect for their sacrifice from all of our nation's citizens.  However, that's not realistic to expect when most people don't even know what the Gold Star means.

I've spent this last week thinking about this alot as I prepared myself for the last two days.  I wanted to be as supportive as possible while I accompanied my best friend to a Gold Star Family Reception.  After spending a couple of days with the families here, my goal of educating as many people as possible about what a Gold Star means is even more important to me.  These people are strong and many work hard to make a difference in the lives of others.  They heal themselves and others while honoring the memory of their loved ones.  I am in awe of some of the amazing Gold Star family members I've met over the last few years.  They absolutely deserve the respect of America's citizens and that can only happen if people know what the Gold Star banner represents.

This isn't a new thought for me.  Since my son's deployment to Iraq in 2008, I have presented a few families with a Gold Star banner during military funerals.  I can tell you that handing a grieving parent a Gold Star banner is not always an easy task.  Reading the presentation is even more difficult to accomplish.   However, it's not the emotional hurdles of the presentation that are hardest to get over. The lack of knowledge you discover when dealing with the people in charge of assisting the family during the days that follow being notified of their loved one's death is what really gets to me.  As hard as it is to believe, even many Casualty Affairs Officers are often not aware of the meaning of the Service Banner. 

The need for awareness is growing and it's up to those of us who know the meaning to share it with everyone we can.  It's the least we can do for those who have sacrificed their loved one.

I realize that I can not educate everyone.  But I sure can start somewhere.  And guess who I'm asking to help me?  Yes, you go it.  YOU!  It's not so hard to do.  Here's what I propose to everyone reading this:

Now that you know what a Gold Star banner is, when you see one on a car or at someone's house, let them know that you are grateful that their loved one was an American Hero that sacrificed their own life in order to protect the freedom of those who live in this great nation.  Make sure anyone and everyone with you understands why you just did what you did.  If the person with the Gold Star banner isn't around, or you happen to be doing 55 down the highway, still take a moment to educate everyone around you. 

If you are a Gold Star family member, please know that I am personally grateful that your loved one lived as an American.  There are still people in this country that realize and appreciate that we are free because of Heroes like them.  Display your Gold Star Banner with pride.  I know that ignorance of the meaning of the banner has led to pain and frustration.  Educate those who don't realize what it is, if you are up to it.  If not...leave that to the rest of us.  We'll take care of it!