I'd Like To Get Off The Deployed Army Mom Train Please

I'm not sure I'm really cut out for this. I thought I was. I tried really hard. Now I'm wishing I could find a "do over" button and go back and talk Mike into doing something less dangerous in a less hostile place. He was supposed to go to Full Sail for game design. That was pretty safe! Well, actually, now that I think of it from that angle, I do know of people there with major drug problems so...ok, that one is out. Dang. Now that I think of it, I don't think anything is safe enough.

*sigh*

I guess I would rather have a kid who is confident in what he's doing and making a difference than a kid who is just surviving and not really happy with life.

Man, I just talked myself out of a full blown anxiety attack. For now. Thanks for listening. If I start talking at home, my kids pick up on me being upset and then it will include my husband and then my mom and it just escalates and no one can function.

Going to try to work now...thanks again for listening!

:)

Custom Girlfriend of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

Custom Boyfriend of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

Is this a good looking kid or what?

ok, it's my job as mom to embarrass the crap out of him...if he even stops by here.

LOL

Here are some pics of Mike taken recently:

Countdown has begun

Mike deploys soon and my brain has begun the countdown. Every morning when I wake up... " ___ days until Mike leaves" plays in my head.

He seems to be handling the upcoming event as well as can be expected. He's on a bit of a roller-coaster. He fluxuates from being gung-ho to being pissed at the world for various things. Don't think this is new though, Mike's been pissed at the world for at least the last 7 years. Maybe longer. I do think this is a very emotional event for a group of guys who are being taught to kick emotion aside and deal with the facts at hand. From my point of view he is sort of purging his anger and getting it out of the way while it's still safe. I have a feeling it won't be back once he leaves US soil.

He's a good kid, er, I guess it's Man now, isn't it? He's a good man with a good head on his shoulders. I am sure he's going to be just fine.

I'll still worry, of course. That's my job, isn't it?

:)

A Text Message Is No Place For The D-Word!

As you may or may not know, Mike graduated Thursday and is officially a Cavalry Scout. He received his orders a few days prior to graduation and was expecting to go back home and resume his life as usual, with the exception of going to drills and training once a month with his Unit.

He left Ft. Knox at noon on Thursday and got home in Pennsylvania sometime after 1am.

We left Ft. Knox shortly after Mike did (we went shopping in the PX! Too neat!!) Since we didn't have to be anywhere at any specific time, we decided we deserved to be tourists this once. We never got to do it when I was younger so we were doing it now!

We stopped to see the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, TN. AWESOME!! We went shopping in the store and then went across the parking lot to shop in the Opry Mills mall. We ate at the Rainforest Cafe in there and really relaxed for the first time in a long time.

We got a hotel outside of Nashville and slept like a bunch of rocks (I think we actually forgot to turn off the lights in the hotel room - we were that tired!)

The next morning, we stopped at Lookout Mountain, Ruby Falls and Rock City. It was while we were in the gift shop at Ruby Falls, looking at keychains that I got the worst text message I have ever gotten.

It was from Mike.

It was pretty simple.

It said, "I'm f***ing deployed! They just pulled me. I go train now."

(notice only ONE instance of the F-word, this is pretty amazing considering he just got done with OSUT)

My heart stopped. Hell! The whole world stopped spinning! I'm pretty sure I actually heard it screech to a halt!

Now, my first reaction was to call him. He didn't answer. So I called again (not like me, but I was starting to panic at this point). This time he picked up and hung up immediately. Hmmmm....

I get a text message a few seconds later. "Can't talk. That's why I hung up"

HUH???

Can't talk because he's upset?

Can't talk because he's celebrating?

Can't talk because he's with a {insert any Army personnel higher than a Private here}?



Talk about creating a need for therapy!

We got in the car, drove to Starbucks (I had already been on a Starbucks hunt since the hotel and there was one at the top of the mountain next to Rock City) and tried to grab a hold of my wildly out of control emotions.


At this point, we had already planned on stopping at Stone Mountain in Georgia to show the girls. I had spent a few summers there as a teenager and wanted to show them how neat it was. So we got on the highway and headed for Atlanta.

While walking around Stone Mountain, he finally called me back. I wanted to hug him so bad at that point but just hearing his voice and knowing that he was calm helped me a lot.

He is staying at Fort Indiantown Gap until Monday when he goes home to get his affairs in order and spend some time with his family. His dad's family is up there so he will get to spend Thanksgiving with them there.

Then he is off to catch up with his Unit that deployed in September. They are still in Mississippi going through Stryker training. He ships out to Iraq sometime in the beginning of 2009.


I'm fairly certain that I am still in denial. But I had to start writing it down because I feel like my body is reacting without my brain going along for the ride. I'm sick to my stomach constantly but my brain hasn't actually grasped the situation.

I'm not looking forward to being near me when it sinks in.

It is not going to be pretty.

It Seems He Thought That Call Sucked Too

I got a letter from him that arrived yesterday. He apologized more than a few times, and explained some of the chaos and aggravation he was enduring as he waited to make a call. He also said he was very VERY upset after hanging up.

That's probably the hardest part, hanging up and then realizing that you could maybe fix what just went wrong with just another few seconds on the phone...but you can't call back.

The Army is teaching us all sorts of new things about ourselves. Mostly I think it's teaching us to be in control of everything. Not just your physical actions. Your thoughts effect your performance and conversations could very well be the last one you ever have. Taking for granted that you'll always be able to apologize or try to repair whatever was broken is not a luxury the military affords us. I think Basic Training is for the family as well as the Soldier. We need to learn to say what our hearts mean first, and not to waste one precious moment we have on the phone or in person. Anger and frustration will just have to sit on hold until we have finished our call and hung up, or until we've dropped them off at their base. Then we can vent to our fellow Army parents/spouses/siblings and know that we are helping our Soldiers maintain the positive focus they need to succeed.

Ok, I'm starting to sound like a self help book. I just wanted to let you know he wrote me and apologized. Obviously our last call during OSUT will be memorable, but only because it taught us both something.

Phone call, promotion and graduation info

I got a 5 minute call today! :D

Mike is now PV2!! Hooah!!!!

He also said he's sending details (as soon as he gets them) about the graduation dinner. It's the night before so we'll have to zoom up there a little earlier than expected. Works for me!! I get to see him for more than a few minutes!!! :D

I was expecting to watch his graduation and maybe see him for 20 minutes, a few hours tops, on November 20. But getting to go to a dinner with him too is just awesome! Even if I have to share him with his Dad's family...if Mike is happy then I'm happy.

I also logged into his AIM account and let all his buddies know he wanted them to write to him. After asking him in this phone call, I put his address in the status window. I hope some of them write, he really is boosted by others writing to him. It means a lot when someone sits down and writes out (or even types) a letter and takes the time and makes the effort to send it. In this day of instant messages and instant gratification...most people just don't send letters through the mail anymore.

Ok, gotta fly and get some work done. Going to work on my Army store so I can start promoting stuff.

Oh, and I got approved to sell US Cavalry items through my sites as well!! That store just rocks!! LOL

now...really...going to work.

later!!

:)

Saturday phone call

I got TWO calls on Saturday!! I was just sitting down to a huge plate of BBQ ribs when he called the first time. We talked for 26 minutes. Then while I was doing dishes (yes I ate my ribs cold, he's worth it) he called back again. This time for 10 minutes.

I was totally unprepared for the second call so we just babbled. I told him we are going to have to stick either him or Mark (the Soldier we are adopting for family day, and his best friend there) in the back of the Escape. After some grumbling (and me saying we could leave them both there, or just tie them to the luggage rack) they agreed it would be JUST FINE! LOL :)

He sounds like he's definitely past the point of being depressed, now he's just ready to go be a Soldier. NOW!

He wants to go to Six Flags in Louisville, I have to make sure that's an authorized destination before I buy tickets that we can't use. I'll ask on GAP but if anyone here knows it's definitely off limits, please feel free to let me know.

I asked about when he gets his beret, and he says he has it already. He doesn't like it much either. (I won't even tell you his words to describe it :( ) He would rather have his Stetson. I really never ever in all my years ever would have imagined my little boy wanting a Stetson. It makes my cowgirl heart so proud. :D

Now I have got to go get some work done.

Talk to you all later!!

:)

OSUT Definition

When I say my son is in OSUT, it brings on blank stares...so I end up explaining this a lot. His MOS is not one that consists of a typical 9 week Basic Training period, it's a little different. He goes to "BCT" for 10 weeks, gets a short break (1-3 days, depending on many factors) that he takes within 50 miles of his base, and follows the rules given to him as if his life depends on it, then goes back to the same place and finishes his training with six weeks of Advanced Individual Training.

Here is a description of what OSUT is according to WikiPedia.com

• One Station Unit Training

With some MOSs, both the BCT and AIT phases of training are accomplished back-to-back at the same location, with the same instructors, as well as with the same fellow recruits. This is called One Station Unit Training, or OSUT. For example, the Infantry MOS consists of the usual ten weeks of BCT followed by six weeks of AIT, all within the same location. A similar program is followed for cavalry scouts, tank crewmen, field artillery cannon crewmen, military police, combat engineers, and chemical operations (defensive) specialists.