Another deployment over with.

Mike is back from his last deployment.  It happened way faster than I expected.  He actually came home a week earlier than I expected so I never even got to get into a real "final countdown" mode.  I don't care.  I'm just glad he's back in the United States.

He told me it was a vacation and he was right.  All the pics he showed me looked like he was working (ok, some playing too) but they didn't have that same stress factor in their faces.  Not like the Iraq pics where they were tired and worn out and just waiting for something to happen.  

And...now he is talking about the next deployment already.  This is the big one.  The one I will be terrified of the entire time he's gone.  Having to look at my living room wall, our memorial to James, will make this really hard to bear.  But, someone has to do it, right?  Someone has to stand up and do what's right. 

Before I get myself distracted from work, I'll let this go for now.  I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about it later.

Proud Grandpa of a Deployed Soldier Mug I just made

Proud Grandpa of a Deployed Soldier Mug

Custom Boyfriend of a Deployed Soldier Shirt

Here is another hard to find shirt...

Custom Boyfriend of a Deployed Soldier Shirt

Suggestions for other shirts/mugs/bumperstickers are appreciated!! We've already covered a few I wasn't thinking of, like Mother-in-Law and Uncle (thanks to those who have made suggestions already), let's see what else we can come up with!

Minor babble and I Just Made This Customizable Proud Girlfriend of a Deployed Soldier shirt

I admit I've been distracted lately. Ok, maybe distracted is too weak a word. How about overwhelmed? Yeah. That fits better.

My "duties" as a military parent are not so obvious to others now that Mike is back in the US. However, I have many organizations that I am a member of that are not dependent on what country my son is in at the time. Sometimes, they seem to overrun my life and then when I try to weed through and thin out those that I could let go of with certainty that someone would fill the position...I am at a loss. It seems that many people are not so interested in helping those outside their immediate family circle. So I will continue to be sporadic here, and keep on chugging along in all my other endeavors. One thing that can not be let go any further though is my income. Gotta pay those bills, right? So today is dedicated to getting my store in order, as well as it can be. I'll try to space out my bombardment of new items so you aren't wondering whether I gave up the Army Mom gig and moved over to Retail Store Mom. :P

Thanks to everyone that has visited so far! I do appreciate you all!

And without further adieu.. here is my newest shirt...

Custom Girlfriend of a Deployed Soldier Shirt

Proud Daughter of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Proud Daughter of a Deployed Soldier w/ Soldier's Name Shirt

Proud Grandpa of a Deployed Soldier Shirt w/ Soldier's Name

Proud Grandpa of a Deployed Soldier w/ Soldier's Name

Proud Grandma of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Proud Grandma of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Name

Proud Wife of a Deployed Soldier Shirt With Soldier's Name

Proud Wife of a Deployed Soldier with Soldier's Name

Proud Brother of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Brother of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Proud Sister of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Proud Sister of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Proud Dad of a Deployed Soldier Shirt

Proud Dad of a Deployed Soldier Shirt

Proud Mom of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Proud Mom of a Deployed Soldier with Soldier's Name

Proud Wife of a Deployed Soldier Shirt with Soldier's Name

Proud Wife of a Deployed Soldier with Soldier's Name Shirt

Military Family Members and Anticipatory Grief

Wow. There's a name for it! And now I feel like I can attack it, if I know that it's there.

I mean, I KNEW it was there because of how everyone I know looks at me. Like they wish they could say or do something to make me better but they are afraid that no matter what they say/do...I'll start leaking again.

I hate that I make others feel uncomfortable around me when they only want me to be me again.

I opened GoArmyParents.com today and found this article posted and thought, "AHA! IT'S NOT JUST ME! I'M NOT GOING INSANE!!!"

So since it's not just me and I thought others might not be aware that THEY aren't the only ones going through it, I thought I'd share:

Anticipatory Grief by Kristin Henderson

While my husband, a Navy chaplain, was in Iraq with the Marines, I imagined a knock at my door. I imagined uniformed Marines telling me that my husband was dead. I imagined the funeral. I did this regularly until my husband was safely home in my arms.

I thought I was the only one with such a morbid imagination until I began researching my book about military families, "While They're at War." Chaplain Jeffrey Watters described how he and other chaplains on Fort Bragg, NC, had noticed a wave of grief sweeping through the families on the homefront.

"They were exhibiting the same symptoms as those who are grieving over a loved one with a terminal illness," Watters told me. Then he listed the symptoms.

My mouth dropped open. I'd had many of those symptoms during my husband's deployment. I had cried in the shower, sometimes felt like I couldn't get enough air, and one day in church had an almost uncontrollable urge to get up and run out. Not only did I not know all this craziness had a name -- anticipatory grief -- I didn't know there were techniques to cope with it.

It turns out that anticipatory grief is common among homefront families during a wartime deployment. We're so afraid of losing the one we love that our bodies start to react as if they're already dead. The symptoms include:
-- tightness in the throat or chest
-- shortness of breath
-- sensitivity to loud noises
-- forgetfulness and difficulty concentrating
-- agitation and restlessness, like an anxiety attack
-- extreme hunger or lack of appetite
-- crying jags
-- headaches
-- insomnia
-- drug use or excessive drinking

Grief is nothing to be ashamed of. It's a normal human emotion, and grieving people typically move through five phases: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance and hope. Not everyone experiences all these phases, and they may not occur in that order. But any of those responses are normal, even if the one you love is alive and kicking.

Continue reading the rest of the article here...

I'd Like To Get Off The Deployed Army Mom Train Please

I'm not sure I'm really cut out for this. I thought I was. I tried really hard. Now I'm wishing I could find a "do over" button and go back and talk Mike into doing something less dangerous in a less hostile place. He was supposed to go to Full Sail for game design. That was pretty safe! Well, actually, now that I think of it from that angle, I do know of people there with major drug problems so...ok, that one is out. Dang. Now that I think of it, I don't think anything is safe enough.

*sigh*

I guess I would rather have a kid who is confident in what he's doing and making a difference than a kid who is just surviving and not really happy with life.

Man, I just talked myself out of a full blown anxiety attack. For now. Thanks for listening. If I start talking at home, my kids pick up on me being upset and then it will include my husband and then my mom and it just escalates and no one can function.

Going to try to work now...thanks again for listening!

:)

He's officially in the desert

I'm almost excited about it. I think this could be an amazing adventure for him. Ok, so people will be shooting at him but still...how many people get stuck in a 9-5 job with no excitement, no thrills...He has never been out of the US before this. Now he will experience life from so many points of view.

I'm choosing to make this a positive thing. I've decided I won't be giving in to fear and spending my time worrying. It's such a waste of time. Really, will me worrying do him any good? And he's over there ensuring freedom prevails. What good is me confining my mind to worrying about him. It goes against what he is fighting for.

So I choose to use this as a learning experience for the girls. They've already learned where a few new places are when he called from them. Google Earth is on full time duty now. LOL I am also teaching them not to waste their time worrying. Michelle is far too prone to do that already.

Of course, I can't guarantee I won't break down every once in a while. I figure every other day for the first few months isn't too bad. :P

Gotta get back to work. I'm going away for the weekend and want to get all my stuff sorted before I leave.

Have a great day and an even better weekend!!

New Red, White and Blue Deployed Soldier Shirts (Less Expensive Than Previous One!)

I made a newer, less expensive version of the Deployed Soldier Shirt!! I like it better, actually. I don't know why I keep getting hung up on making bright yellow text and then it can only be printed on dark shirts, which are more expensive. Sorry folks - it's an artist thing. Anyway, I've figured out that I am depriving people of these shirts since they are quite a lot of money. The new design is red, white and blue and is printed on light shirts...meaning the base price is like $17 or so (customizable version has name of your Soldier on back and starts at $22 - You could even add your Soldier's picture here!). That is way more affordable (I think so anyway). Let me know if you have any special requests for a shirt, I'd be happy to make one specially for you!!!

Thanks for putting up with my creative outbursts!!! LOL

Proud Mom of a Deployed Soldier Shirt

Custom Girlfriend of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

Custom Boyfriend of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

New Deployed Soldier Shirts for Parent, Sister-In-Law and Brother-In-Law

Custom Sister In Law of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

Custom Brother In Law of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

Custom Proud Parent of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

New Deployed Soldier Shirt Designs for Aunt, Uncle, Mother-In-Law, and Father-In-Law

Custom Proud Aunt of a Deployed Soldier by WendyMilonas

Custom Proud Uncle of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas

Custom Proud Mother In Law of a Deployed Soldier by WendyMilonas

Custom Father In Law of a Deployed Soldier Shirt by WendyMilonas